This I Vow... My Faith in Only You I FOLLOW
As an eagle, the Lord spreads his wings over us, his nestlings. He will be lifted up on the cross; he will stretch forth his hands to shelter us. | |
St. Jerome, 5rh century | |
Please give me the strength I need to endure what you have given me. I am so tired, my heart fails me and my spirit is broken, I am faint and any momentum comes from the stinging breath you allow me to draw into these lungs; God it hurts to breathe, but I do, and this broken heart keeps beating, so one foot infront of the other I will put, my faith in you is absolute. Please stay...xoxo me
~02/07/11: Psalm 91:4
He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection.
~02/24/11: Dear God,
~03/09/11: Dear God,
Please STAY! There is a change winding around this thing called life, I can feel it, I can feel you strengthening me for it.. you gently mend my wings with your own hands...I can feel your peace overcome my fears...you replace retreat with restlessness, the determination returns to this soul, and this time the drive is different, I am connected to you, the perpetual momentum of life flows through. These few things I KNOW to be TRUE, I have only persevered through everything you have brought me to because of you. I have come to a place of acceptance because of your LoVe, If you bring me to this, you will carry me through it. This I BeLiEvE! Only you can make me complete, lacking in nothing, I will only complete the transformation with you holding my hand. I have NOT enough to walk on my own... I longingly hope for the day I fly.
xoxo Me
0407/11 ~ Look at the sky! Look Lord, Can I please ooooo let me please! I stretch my WiNgS, just give me the word! Then you said it! "My Child It's time to FLY."
~06/30/11~I was so close. In such a small amount of time I let it fade. How weak willed am I? Do you mean to show me how lowly I can be? It's so dark inside that I can't even see my wings anymore, but I can feel the place where their presence lingers and I have hope. My faith is in you alone, how could I ever rescue myself, can't you see horrors in my blood stained skin? It's so bright outside that I want to peel out of my self. How long Lord must I poison myself? I am supposed to be stubborn and determined, I am towards my own detriment. Please Save Me again. This time and as many times as it takes... don't give up on me. Who will believe in me if not you, I don't believe in myself...Bring me through the darkness to the life's light on the other side.
xoxo me
~Dear God, I feel so alone and wasted... please have mercy, my heart hurts. xoxo me
It's been a while since I've wailed. My soul screamed last night, not at you Lord, out of pain... I am at the bottom, The only place left to go is up, one foot in front of the other I will put, guide my feet Lord, they know not which way to travel. xoxo me
~07/29/11 Dear God,
This is WAR and he's a pastor so where does that put me? This much I know, you are my refuge and my sheltering wing. Please stay Lord, show my feet the way and put the right words in my mouth to say. All I want to do is rip his head off, but this is a battle I have to let you fight, please don't allow my wellbeing to be compromised. Please don't allow this seed of hate that has been planted to grow because it does, I hate him. He is a snake in the grass and I truely believe no good can from him. He is fake as they come and I can't stand him, but somehow I do, it is because of you. Let me not loose my Grace, let me humble and know my place, Lord all I really want to do is slap him in his face. Would that be turning the other cheek? Bring peace Lord and let no bad happen. I love you like no other and maybe he is a false prophet, my trust and hope is in you, Shelter me from the storm and give me victory! Because only you can help me win this WAR. xoxo me.
~08/05/11: Dear God,
Please don't take my destiny from me, let me not rob myself of Greatness. My heart hurts Lord. Please stay. xoxo Me.
08/09/11~ Dear God,
That's it... I'm done. Cut me up and feed me to the world as you wish... I can't provide, I have nothing left to give, I no longer wish to live... they're better off in other hands... I'm ready ... give me eternal peace.. all day long I wish to be beneath your feet. xo xo sincerely me
~Dear God
My heart hurts... it hurts so bad i can't even breathe...I have so many open wounds. I let it all go to you, my rock spread your wing over us like an invisibility cape, a state of seclusion where the chaos of the world just kinda passes us quitely by...Please keep us all safe until I can heal.
~Dear God,
I feel so ashamed, I was so excited. I don't know why... I don't put hardly any effort in. I hate it everyday, but it is the best opportunity for me. I feel so stagnant in this day to day routine... I procrastinate every task because it takes that much effort to simply complete something so boring...I am so blessed and so ungrateful... I am so sorry...and this, this made me feel so accomplished... arrogant, boastful... conceited in my abilities... But what is 300k in exchange for 5 lives? It's not equivalent at all. Thank you for humbling my heart, please bless their families, help their hearts, shelter them with your wing. I am so stripped I can't even speak let alone sing. Amen
~ Dear God, Thank you. xoxo me
Isaiah 28:16
So this is what the Sovereign LORD says: "See, I lay a stone in Zion, a tested stone, a precious cornerstone for a sure foundation; the one who trusts will never be dismayed."
Isaiah 40:31
But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
~Dear Lord,
But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
~Dear Lord,
I am so afraid. It's like my very voice has been stolen. There is no more song...I will wait in silence for you all day long... I know not which direction to take a step... I am afraid Azaria will not make it through, Delorne has bled herself out trying to save her with Phoenix blood... neither one moves... I have been defeated, the spirit could not save and so I wait here in the darkness yes Lord I wait for you. Redeem Mighty one, be quick to save less I loose all I am to this world... xoxo me
~10/03/11~What a fool am I? I do not deserve this gift, this mercy. Such Grace, a gentle rod you have used...As I read through my chronicles Lord I see the perspective. Please forgive me, all of me, time and time again until I can resist your love no longer. Give me new eyes as the ones have are blind, I want to see my wings again. Give me a new heart as the one I have is made of stone, no rhythm does it hold, I want to feel your life force beat inside of me once more. Give me new ears Lord that your sound would resignate in them all day long, fill them with your melodies tune. Such a circle, just when I'm up enough to think of flight I end up on the down side with in seconds... the pieces of me have fled, no where to be found, the silence fills me, no voices to be heard, I'm afraid, But you stay with me... my Christ, my savior, I hear you whisper, I felt your touch, my heart cracked with longing for the truth. Bury it all, just flush it Lord, let the guilt pass me by as I take refuge in the shelter of your wing rocking with the rhythm of your perfect breeze, how could I, How could I, fill me with peace Oh God, Please let me fly. This is a first, not that you have shown me true love, but that at 28 years old I not only see it, but recognize it's perfect form. This is LOVE, Please Love me Lord until I can accept it and Love myself. My light is yours, yours is mine. I am so blessed. xoxo Me
~120211
Dear God,
Please please please please please pleeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaase...show my feet which direction to take, stoke my faith, take my hand, light the way and guide this troubled soul of mine. xoxo me
~10/03/11~What a fool am I? I do not deserve this gift, this mercy. Such Grace, a gentle rod you have used...As I read through my chronicles Lord I see the perspective. Please forgive me, all of me, time and time again until I can resist your love no longer. Give me new eyes as the ones have are blind, I want to see my wings again. Give me a new heart as the one I have is made of stone, no rhythm does it hold, I want to feel your life force beat inside of me once more. Give me new ears Lord that your sound would resignate in them all day long, fill them with your melodies tune. Such a circle, just when I'm up enough to think of flight I end up on the down side with in seconds... the pieces of me have fled, no where to be found, the silence fills me, no voices to be heard, I'm afraid, But you stay with me... my Christ, my savior, I hear you whisper, I felt your touch, my heart cracked with longing for the truth. Bury it all, just flush it Lord, let the guilt pass me by as I take refuge in the shelter of your wing rocking with the rhythm of your perfect breeze, how could I, How could I, fill me with peace Oh God, Please let me fly. This is a first, not that you have shown me true love, but that at 28 years old I not only see it, but recognize it's perfect form. This is LOVE, Please Love me Lord until I can accept it and Love myself. My light is yours, yours is mine. I am so blessed. xoxo Me
~120211
Dear God,
Please please please please please pleeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaase...show my feet which direction to take, stoke my faith, take my hand, light the way and guide this troubled soul of mine. xoxo me
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