The Other Side

All DAY Long my hope is in you... My faith in only you I follow...My Lord Save me.

Hosea 11:3-4
"It was I {God} who taught Ephraim to walk, taking them by the arms; but they did not realize it was I who healed them. I led them with cords of human kindness, with ties of love; I lifted the yoke from their neck and bent down to feed them."

"He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion" (Philippians 1:6).

Every part of me thats spose too, will make it to the Other Side.

Amen
xoxo Me

Freedom to Fly

Our Lord submitted to death, enduring it willingly,
because by this means he would be able to destroy death
in spite of itself.

St. Ephraem, 4th century 

Flight requires FREEDOM from within
NO internal confines to bind the mind
NO chains diggin’ in
To Fly you must die
To touch the sky you must enter a cocoon
You must let go of what is and transform into LiViNg proof
You must SCREAM with your whole heart!
at the Lies you've been fed
" You are NOT the Truth!
NEVER again will you tear my soul apart!
NEVER again will you infect my head !
It's time to put Death to the test,
it is time O’ Lies I lay You to rest!"
You must face Fear with Faith!
Knowing that your very SpIrIt is at stake
Knowing that every part of you that's suppose to  
WILL make it through to the other side
Allowing you to be born again brand new
Allowing your wings the FREEDOM to Fly!~

As a Dragon I Die
As a Phoenix I Rise
Born again a Song Dragon
The Yellow Hearted Leopard Sun Dragon
Death I Destroy

The Eternal Covenant of Peace

54
h“Sing, O barren one, who did not bear;

break forth into singing and cry aloud,

you who have not been in labor!

For the children of ithe desolate one jwill be more

than the children of her who is married,” says the Lord.

2
k“Enlarge the place of your tent,

and let the curtains of your habitations be stretched out;

do not hold back; lengthen your cords

and strengthen your stakes.

3
lFor you will spread abroad to the right and to the left,

and your offspring will possess the nations

and will people the desolate cities.

4
“Fear not, mfor you will not be ashamed;

be not confounded, for you will not be disgraced;

for you will forget the shame of your youth,

and the reproach of your widowhood you will remember no more.

5
nFor your Maker is your husband,

the Lord of hosts is his name;

oand the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer,

pthe God of the whole earth he is called.

6
qFor the Lord has called you

like a wife deserted and grieved in spirit,

like a wife of youth when she is cast off,

says your God.

7
rFor a brief moment I deserted you,

but with great compassion I will gather you.

8
rIn overflowing anger for a moment

I hid my face from you,

sbut with everlasting love I will have compassion on you,”

says the Lord, your Redeemer.

9
“This is like tthe days of Noah1 to me:

as I swore that the waters of Noah

should no more go over the earth,

so I have sworn that I will not be angry with you,

and will not rebuke you.

10
For the mountains may depart

and the hills be removed,

but my steadfast love shall not depart from you,

and umy covenant of peace shall not be removed,”

says the Lord, who has compassion on you.

11
v“O afflicted one, storm-tossed and not comforted,

behold, wI will set your stones in antimony,

xand lay your foundations with sapphires.2

12
I will make your pinnacles of agate,3

your gates of carbuncles,4

and all your wall of precious stones.

13
yAll your children zshall be taught by the Lord,

aand great shall be the peace of your children.

14
In righteousness you shall be established;

you shall be far from oppression, for you shall not fear;

and from terror, for it shall not come near you.

15
bIf anyone stirs up strife,

it is not from me;

whoever stirs up strife with you

shall fall because of you.

16
Behold, I have created the smith

who blows the fire of coals

and produces a weapon for its purpose.

I have also created the ravager to destroy;

17
no weapon that is fashioned against you shall succeed,

and you shall refute every tongue that rises against you in judgment.

This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord

cand their vindication5 from me, declares the Lord.” 

Dear God

This I Vow... My Faith in Only You I FOLLOW

As an eagle, the Lord spreads his wings over us, his nestlings. He will be lifted up on the cross; he will stretch forth his hands to shelter us.
St. Jerome, 5rh century

Dear God,
Please give me the strength I need to endure what you have given me. I am so tired, my heart fails me and my spirit is broken, I am faint and any momentum comes from the stinging breath you allow me to draw into these lungs; God it hurts to breathe, but I do, and this broken heart keeps beating, so one foot infront of the other I will put, my faith in you is absolute. Please stay...xoxo me

~02/07/11: Psalm 91:4

He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection. 

 
~02/24/11: Dear God,

 

Everywhere I look the Glow it's, it's gone... It's heartbreaking... Please God bring the Glow back! Please give me enough light to make my own Glow Grow So Strong that I make everything around me SHINE! Please heal all that's around me, I can't stand to see those I care about suffer so... please bring healing... Let me be your beacon to them in this darkness...xoxo me 

~03/09/11: Dear God,
Please STAY! There is a change winding around this thing called life, I can feel it, I can feel you strengthening me for it.. you gently mend my wings with your own hands...I can feel your peace overcome my fears...you replace retreat with restlessness, the determination returns to this soul, and this time the drive is different, I am connected to you, the perpetual momentum of life flows through. These few things I KNOW to be TRUE, I have only persevered through everything you have brought me to because of you. I have come to a place of acceptance because of your LoVe, If you bring me to this, you will carry me through it. This I BeLiEvE! Only you can make me complete, lacking in nothing, I will only complete the transformation with you holding my hand. I have NOT enough to walk on my own... I longingly hope for the day I fly.

xoxo Me 




0407/11 ~ Look at the sky! Look Lord, Can I please ooooo let me please! I stretch my WiNgS, just give me the word! Then you said it! "My Child It's time to FLY." 

~06/30/11~I was so close. In such a small amount of time I let it fade. How weak willed am I? Do you mean to show me how lowly I can be? It's so dark inside that I can't even see my wings anymore, but I can feel the place where their presence lingers and I have hope. My faith is in you alone, how could I ever rescue myself, can't you see horrors in my blood stained skin? It's so bright outside that I want to peel out of my self. How long Lord must I poison myself? I am supposed to be stubborn and determined, I am towards my own detriment. Please Save Me again. This time and as many times as it takes... don't give up on me. Who will believe in me if not you, I don't believe in myself...Bring me through the darkness to the life's light on the other side. 
xoxo me 

~Dear God, I feel so alone and wasted... please have mercy, my heart hurts. xoxo me 

It's been a while since I've wailed. My soul screamed last night, not at you Lord, out of pain... I am at the bottom, The only place left to go is up, one foot in front of the other I will put, guide my feet Lord, they know not which way to travel. xoxo me 

~07/29/11 Dear God,


This is WAR and he's a pastor so where does that put me? This much I know, you are my refuge and my sheltering wing. Please stay Lord, show my feet the way and put the right words in my mouth to say. All I want to do is rip his head off, but this is a battle I have to let you fight, please don't allow my wellbeing to be compromised. Please don't allow this seed of hate that has been planted to grow because it does, I hate him. He is a snake in the grass and I truely believe no good can from him. He is fake as they come and I can't stand him, but somehow I do, it is because of you. Let me not loose my Grace, let me humble and know my place, Lord all I really want to do is slap him in his face. Would that be turning the other cheek?  Bring peace Lord and let no bad happen. I love you like no other and maybe he is a false prophet, my trust and hope is in you, Shelter me from the storm and give me victory! Because only you can help me win this WAR. xoxo me. 

~08/05/11: Dear God,
Please don't take my destiny from me, let me not rob myself of Greatness. My heart hurts Lord. Please stay. xoxo Me.  
 08/09/11~ Dear God,
That's it... I'm done. Cut me up and feed me to the world as you wish... I can't provide, I have nothing left to give, I no longer wish to live... they're better off in other hands... I'm ready ... give me eternal peace.. all day long I wish to be beneath your feet. xo xo sincerely me 
~Dear God 
My heart hurts... it hurts so bad i can't even breathe...I have so many open wounds. I let it all go to you, my rock spread your wing over us like an invisibility cape, a state of seclusion where the chaos of the world just kinda passes us quitely by...Please keep us all safe until I can heal.  
~Dear God,
I feel so ashamed, I was so excited. I don't know why... I don't put hardly any effort in. I hate it everyday, but it is the best opportunity for me. I feel so stagnant in this day to day routine... I procrastinate every task because it takes that much effort to simply complete something so boring...I am so blessed and so ungrateful... I am so sorry...and this, this made me feel so accomplished... arrogant, boastful... conceited in my abilities... But what is 300k in exchange for 5 lives? It's not equivalent at all. Thank you for humbling my heart, please bless their families, help their hearts, shelter them with your wing. I am so stripped I can't even speak let alone sing. Amen 

 ~ Dear God, Thank you. xoxo me
Isaiah 28:16
So this is what the Sovereign LORD says: "See, I lay a stone in Zion, a tested stone, a precious cornerstone for a sure foundation; the one who trusts will never be dismayed." 

Isaiah 40:31
But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. 

~Dear Lord,

I am so afraid. It's like my very voice has been stolen. There is no more song...I will wait in silence for you all day long... I know not which direction to take a step... I am afraid Azaria will not make it through, Delorne has bled herself out trying to save her with Phoenix blood... neither one moves... I have been defeated, the spirit could not save and so I wait here in the darkness yes Lord I wait for you. Redeem Mighty one, be quick to save less I loose all I am to this world... xoxo me

~10/03/11~What a fool am I? I do not deserve this gift, this mercy. Such Grace, a gentle rod you have used...As I read through my chronicles Lord I see the perspective. Please forgive me, all of me, time and time again until I can resist your love no longer. Give me new eyes as the ones have are blind, I want to see my wings again. Give me a new heart as the one I have is made of stone, no rhythm does it hold, I want to feel your life force beat inside of me once more. Give me new ears Lord that your sound would resignate in them all day long, fill them with your melodies tune.  Such a circle, just when I'm up enough to think of flight  I end up on the down side with in seconds... the pieces of me have fled, no where to be found, the silence fills me, no voices to be heard, I'm afraid,  But you stay with me... my Christ, my savior, I hear you whisper, I felt your touch, my heart cracked with longing for the truth. Bury it all, just flush it Lord, let the guilt pass me by as I take refuge in the shelter of your wing rocking with the rhythm of your perfect breeze, how could I, How could I, fill me with peace Oh God, Please let me fly. This is a first, not that you have shown me true love, but that at 28 years old I not only see it, but recognize it's perfect form. This is LOVE,  Please Love me Lord until I can accept it and Love myself. My light is yours, yours is mine. I am so blessed. xoxo Me


~120211

Dear God, 

Please please please please please pleeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaase...show my feet which direction to take, stoke my faith, take my hand, light the way and guide this troubled soul of mine.  xoxo me