Fuck It!

Cast away your troublesome cares, put aside your wearisome distractions.
Give yourself a little leisure to converse with God,
and take your rest awhile in him.

St. Anselm, 12th century

I FUCKING HATE this shit!!!!
I HATE LIFE!!!
I JUST PLAIN FLAT OUT FUCKING HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE IT ALL!
FUCK IT, JUST FUCK IT ALL STRAIGHT TO HELL!
I'M ALREADY THERE ANYWAYS, I'VE LIVED THERE MY ENTIRE LIFE...
PISS OFF PEOPLE, I FUCKING HATE YOU TOO... FUCK YOU!

I can feel this internal battle of wills: I listen to this song and I can hear the conversations:
Hoshi Rae: Get up Come on Why you scared?
Zari: FUCK YOU! ROOOOAAAARRRRRRRR... I'M NOT SCARED, I'M JUST FUCKING DONE, POKE ME ONE MORE TIME BITCH I DARE YOU.
DJ: Get her a drink

I FUCKING LOVE YOU DJ!

It's every ounce of good stuff has been drained from my veins along with all my blood.. all my life's force... it's just gone... I simply have nothing left to give... please just leave me alone... quit breaking my heart before I bite you! Those broken fragments are all I have left... see me as an example if you wish, this is simply just it... bare wounds lie open... poke if you like, I haven't even the strength to defend... I see Death approaching... This is the end... Lord Come for Me... xoxo Amen