Fuck It!

Cast away your troublesome cares, put aside your wearisome distractions.
Give yourself a little leisure to converse with God,
and take your rest awhile in him.

St. Anselm, 12th century

I FUCKING HATE this shit!!!!
I HATE LIFE!!!
I JUST PLAIN FLAT OUT FUCKING HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE IT ALL!
FUCK IT, JUST FUCK IT ALL STRAIGHT TO HELL!
I'M ALREADY THERE ANYWAYS, I'VE LIVED THERE MY ENTIRE LIFE...
PISS OFF PEOPLE, I FUCKING HATE YOU TOO... FUCK YOU!

I can feel this internal battle of wills: I listen to this song and I can hear the conversations:
Hoshi Rae: Get up Come on Why you scared?
Zari: FUCK YOU! ROOOOAAAARRRRRRRR... I'M NOT SCARED, I'M JUST FUCKING DONE, POKE ME ONE MORE TIME BITCH I DARE YOU.
DJ: Get her a drink

I FUCKING LOVE YOU DJ!

It's every ounce of good stuff has been drained from my veins along with all my blood.. all my life's force... it's just gone... I simply have nothing left to give... please just leave me alone... quit breaking my heart before I bite you! Those broken fragments are all I have left... see me as an example if you wish, this is simply just it... bare wounds lie open... poke if you like, I haven't even the strength to defend... I see Death approaching... This is the end... Lord Come for Me... xoxo Amen

The Secret Sisterhood of the Star-hearted Dragons

God i could go for a Lil Nancy, a Lil Donna, a Lil bit of Aunt Jinny in my view I didn't get my daily dose of Aunt Ne' n please I need me some Honey, n Momma Tracy too,  I could go for a lil Doe for sho'!  Hoshi Rae These Lights are you, give me some Debbie, some Bridget and could you blend in a double dose of Linda. Give me some more Gail, Carol, Kaylynn n Kendra. N even though I'm new yes please I'd  like some Auntie Deenie too. Warrioresses sing true, I need a whole lotta Sheena, n more than a bit of the Dragon that's Blue, I could use more Rachel and Rosemadder I don't get nearly enough of you; nor the rae's of Derring n Lindsey, I've been with out my Devyn n Jenny; Could I please get just a Lil more Mindy, Some Sister Sam, Some Aunt Pam and just a Lil bit of what gives Kristy her ooo ooo. A regular breeze of Bree is a must n I'm holding on to the twinkles of Courtney I have left, Grandma Irene I miss you so much! some essence of Grandma's Alice n Millie please cuz that stuffs the Best, this is the special stuff that's stored in the arsenal in case I need to rage a war or simply place one foot in front of the other when you beckon me too, Lord I could use a Lil Momma, yup feed me some Caryn Threw n Threw, see me, this Phoenix blood makes me new, Grandma CJ I'm forever grateful Azaria was born from you: Internally rooted Ms Delorne Janai my Mississippi princess forever engraved she'd been locked away behind closed doors, the magnolia blossomed from being seeded inside the sand the child reaching out for a hand...Each essence blending into a spectacular spectrum, each one's own song harmonizing in tune gliding glittering shining along the currents of time, My Eywa I see you- a perfectly beautiful design forever progressing forward into some new hue, A Rugga Bue Sue if you may, a Missy Moo Moo, Heaven, Jay Rae, Brynn or Lil Miss Muffin, the perpetual energies of life so magnificently sewn into a patchwork tale of women the Secret Sisterhood of the Star-hearted Dragons.