About Me

My photo
Hope is Healing Life Revealing This is mine...

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

The Toxin Chamber

If I can't put it here then where? This hatred I harbor it needs to flow out of me and someplace else so I can grow, but if I release it here then where does it go? Out there into the unknowns? You get out of this world what you put into it...I don't want to fuel bad JuJu but inside of me it can't stay. So I let it go here hoping it doesn't come back my way, rather filtered through to someone who can read this and finally release their bad JuJu too... making room to let the Good Stuff in...This is my Toxin Chamber...If you don't like it...
well FU then!

"I gotta List and Here's the Order that my List is in: You Get NO LoVe"
Jorge
Marsha
Crystal 

You're a waste of engery, why do you plague me, go away into the disapperations of time and take your hazardous essence with you, it leaches my soul juice and I'm tired of sharing. 


Fuck you! I HATE you! Go To Hell, Straight to Hell, Do not pass Go Do not collect 200 Souls just go straight to HELL! 

No I don't like what I do, Yes it's just a JOB, YES IT"S JUST A PAYCHECK, it keeps food my boy's mouths, No I wouldn't have applied for this shit, it's not what I applied for in the first place, it's where you stuck me. I just try to make the best of it. Sorry that's not what you want to hear and sure we can meet back in a couple of weeks to see if my ATTITUDE has changed, I guarantee it hasn't. I hate this shit. He's the pied piper n he plays you like a fiddle. I'm sorry your so blind you can't see through his cellophane like he's not wearing that shit. But I am grateful that I can see through him and I refuse to be blind. He's a snake in the grass, but we both have scales now don't we. I'll give you what you want and suffocate slowly knowing it's God's will to keep me alive. I will do this to survive, he will provide. Protect oh Lord, be my guide... accept this prayer from a desuetude and broken spirit, be my fuel... Amen xoxo me
~I FUCKING HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HAAAAAAAAATTTTTEEEEE YOUR ASS!
SINCERELY ZARI 
Its like with every word you say it injects venom into my body and I instantly feel hatred ooze throughout me. It's just you! You fucking snake! You have no ones best interest in mind and I absolutely fucking hate you! I don't know how else to go about it.. there is NOTHING in the WORLD I would ever want to learn from you. I don't want to be like you at all. It's all cellophane with you! I just wanna bitch slap you because that's what you are!  You FAKE ASS MOTHER FUCKER! N everyone keeps telling me to just play the game. Straight up I don't fucking like games, and I don't play them when it comes to life. Smile CJ.. I don't fucking feel like it because instead of being inspired everyday I'm babysitting you... you piece of fucking selfish succubus.This is an official Raping of my soul because I am officially SCREAMING NOOOOO!!! And any which way I take a stand it's gonna be bad so who gives a shit about anyone else right? It's dog eat dog motherfucker and I'm a dragon. Run Bitch Run!
~I hear them talk about me like I don't exist... I feel like this essence inside of me could rip free of this fleshy capsule and tear them apart! This force is going to explode... Get the FUCK out of the way.

04/07/11~ 

FU Bills
FU Worries
FU Energy Suckers and Money Hungries
FU Doodie
FU Moodie
FU Old ass ripped up Hoodie
FU Fears
FU Tears
FU Dirty Dishes and Laundry too!
FU Dirty Lou
FU Unmade Bed
FU Migrain in my Head 
FU Men
FU Vanity and FU Skin
FU Exhaustion I'm here to win! 
FU Back Pain and FU Snow Chains 
FU 10 hrs of time btwn my Baby and I
FU Storm clouds in my sky, Bring on the Rain! 
Still I Fly! 


  
01/04/11~ Ew,
Yeah I'm still gonna say it, I DON"T FUCKING CARE if it's petty, maybe I'm just as petty as the next beast when it comes down to it, So be it... And While I'm at it I think I figured out why we never worked Dill Hole! You're a BITCH!!! that's right a Bitch Boy and do you know what bitches are supposed to date? Other bitches! that's right birds of a feather flock together motherfucker. I was a Beast loving a Bitch, no wonder you pussed out. Eww Ew Ew!!! Fuck You Both!


I FUCKING HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! That is all.


P.S. I hope you get a testicular cancer scare you sorry peice of shit!
I thought you were a King; Turns out your just a pig.~ FU
(This is the day I liked sometimes your knight in shinging armor is just a retard in tin foil~Go Facebook!)

I guess that isn't all is it? I hate b/c I hurt, I hurt b/c of you, Letting go of your abuse has been healing, can healing come from hate? Is it truely a poisoned antidote? I don't think so, it's never been the hate that healed, only my love for you. In my heart I know I wish you the best, I pray that God brings your light to full shine, you were so beautiful.

You are the cowardly kind, a spineless sack of shit~FU!

As for you, you fugly ass redheaded beerfaced bitch! How dare you take my investment of love!When he's driving the car you bought him and you're cleaning up his drunken piss b/c he drank too much on your disney land vacation with his Mom and peed the bed then you can step to me, until then I hope he raises a pan to your head. Fuck You!
PS. Just so you know you can dye your hair any color you want, you're still a fugly bitch... hahahaha 

06/10/11~I'm sooooo mad inside I feel like I could scream at the top of my lungs out of pure anger for a week straight and still spit bullets for 2 whole days!!! and if anyone got in the way they would be obliviated by force of hatred excreating from the sound waves, it would be powerful enough to penetrate the very fibers of their being and consume their soul until they dis-apparate into thin air and left me the fuck alone! 

 08/12/2010~ PISS OFF YO!Wiped, tired, exhausted, irritable, grouchy, drained, empty, existing, revolving, evolving, blank, bitchy, savior no more, fix your own, pick up your own, do your own and leave me alone, there's no more left to withdrawal, no more left to share, nothing left to give except the load you gave me, here take it, I'm done. No you can't make a deposit, the account is severely in overdraft and has been permanently closed, please feel free to fuck off @ any time. 

09-15-10~ I want my Ya Ya Back! I miss her! Who's gonna Ya Ya it up with me if not her? FU HiLo You can't have her!!! Give her back! She's mine damned it!

09-28-10~FUCK FUCK FUUUUCKKK YOOOUUUU, and you, and you, and you, you're cool-* you know who you are*, and especially FUCK YOU!!!



11-16-10~God I hate people! I hate havin to talk to them for more than 10 min. increments on a single occation, WTF makes you think I wanna talk to that same person multiple times additionally throught my fuckin day? I just don't give a FUCK about your round pen lady! That's right I don't fuckin care. I don't care if you need a discount b/c your a non-profit! Do my commissions look like a fuckin Charity Base to you BITCH! FUCK YOU! That's what the worlds given me, so that's what I'm givin you! A BIG OL' FUCK YOU!!! Why? Cuz I don't fuckin like you, I didn't like the message on your voicemail, I didn't like your voice as a matter of fact, it wasn't just your lame as fuckin message, oh no I just didn't fuckin Like YOU! FUCK YOU! and no I can't fuckin smile cuz I'm not fuckin FAKE like you! Yes I wear this shit on my sleeve, it fuckin stinks don't it! Good maybe you'll fuckin go away, I didn't fuckin like you anyways!

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Dragon Lady




Scale it up! Today you're pink, tomorrow you could be any color you want to be, Purple, maybe red. The choice is yours, blue, green, yellow, orange, or crimson, it's your own defining~ one day at a time, one color at a time. Starting with the primary hues, gradually growing to mix and blend, learning each shimmering color that life has to offer adding as many of your self created shades to your own rainbow as you can, becoming a beautiful spectrum of light that resignates inside and out for your little rainbows to grasp and add to their own life lights. Today your pink, what is pink to you?






xoxo Love Me

Monday, June 21, 2010

Wings

To get WiNgs~ you have to See through New EyEs

Friday, May 21, 2010

Spring Sprites

Here's to sunny spring filled afternoons watching pure sprites of joy dance across dandelion filled fields!

Spring 2011~ "Auntie! Auntie! Let's go lay in the WiShEs!" ~ Absolutely beautifully priceless.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Open

Do I lack faith enough?...
Do I lack HoPe?...
What is it inside that feels so empty?...
This void so large and deep, it seeps my soul to the world through an open wound that refuses to heal.
I can't close it, so open it stays,...
open to pokes prodes and sickly infection from the corrupt,
open and completely vulnerable...
Not even time has worked it's wonders, seemingly non existant,
it too is open, an infinite lapse that holds all and has no mercy...
Is this the edge of reality?...A space so vast it has no bounds... limitless is the mind, ...Insanity is the key to flying freely with in this space... it's so open...
I can feel the breeze of life sting every surface, every ounce of my being screams outward...Seal it shut! Burn it closed...
"Only when you let go of who you are, can you become what you might be..."
Only one choice... only one... let go... scar me shut.

Friday, May 7, 2010

FOLLOW your Heart!!!

I mentioned getting a tattoo for Mothers day, no one even wanted to know what of? or why? I was simply told to hold my tounge because my youth doesn't give the privliages of wisdom... How do they know what my eyes have seen or my soul has endured... You will feel differently when your older, you don't want to ruin your chances at a corporate career, where do you want to be in Five years in the company, you can't go into a meeting with tattoos and demand respect because all people see is drugs and a hard life..., Well LET THEM SEE IT! Damed corporate america to HELL!!! I have had a hard life and I will pay homage to my Mother and my Father by engraving them in places of honor upon the temple that I have been blessed with! My LIFE is nothing to hide, it is a story of survival and strength, of endurance and courage, LET THEM SEE IT!!! for they see with blind eyes and know nothing of the truth, NEVER give up your dreams for the money that corporations offer, you sell your soul for what?!? A lie of a career, NEVER give in, NEVER give up, because in 5 years you'll be that much closer to your hearts desire. Don't settle for what is privey or expected by others, Seek, Find, and Live it out Honey, Life is but a breath!!! Make it as deep and long and fullfilling as you can... Tattoos here I come & at 80 years old when I have to pull my skin to see them clearly I will remember and I will have all my heart desires.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Dreams...

If Amy Lee can do it so can I... So what she's been trained in classic piano since she was 6... I can feel this in my soul, so be it...

Album 1~ Eclectic~ my paradigms
Song 1_Wings
Song 2_Gemini
Song 3_Eagle Man
Song 4_ Leo
Song 5_Roots
Song 6_Star

Album 2~ Warrior Princess~ for the YaYa's of the world
Song 1_Warrior Princess
Song 2_Phoenix
Song 3_Magnolia's Masquerade
Song 4_In the Den
Song 5_Dragon Lady
Song 6_Flawless
Song 7_ Azaria's Call

Undecided But Definite
So Far Off
Keep It All
You're Feet