Every Lil Thought

I wish I could just stab you in the heart
I don't fucking care anymore
Cold that's what I've become
You're a sweet girl
Meek
Insecure
Confidence... I think If I hear that fucking word again Imma scream
So what... yeah and?
FU
Piss is Piss Asshole
How can I love and hate all at the same time
I can't stand what they think of me
I can't stand to have one more person say one more bad thing
I am who I am
Locked in a cage of continuous pain for all to see
Quit fucking looking at me Bastards!
I don't want your fucking pity, I got enough of my own to drown in
I don't really know what I want, or what I need.
I just know it feels good...but feel good can be bad
Its so bad
Just leave me be
I can't even stand me
This is how people blow out their brains
and I don't blame them one bit
I can't even stand this shit
Same day after day
Stagnant
There is no growth
There is no hope
Faithless Israel... Yup that's me... It's all bad so there's no reason to believe.
 Just Fuck Fuck Fuck it all straight to hell

I hold on to the belief that one day I will be able to be the stool beneath your feet, how honored I would be to find relief in the refuge of your wing, shhh don't look at me, hide me while I find a song to sing, take this heart and play a melody on its strings...Amen xoxo me